Ding.

Motherhood is the most humbling human experiment. Here's what I recognize over and over again. I need to continue to shift my paradigm, & my energy. I have moved through most of my life under major stress and pressures--playing the role of the "over-achiever". My career was ultra demanding and often included unhealthy environments. Like most people, I found a way to move through life greatly over-extended (on all fronts). I would compartmentalize the bad parts and pretend like it was all great.

I realized this wasn't enough for my daughter. As a single working mom, my time is very essential and I committed myself to aligning my time to work that I believed in. I did that and made a major career move thinking I was serving myself and my daughter by spending my time away from her in a way that I could be proud. Sure, it comes with less security and much more risk but it's something that I truly believe in and I'm determined to make the new path work.

What I realized tonight, is that I may have changed professions & priorities for the better but I didn't necessarily change how I moved through life. How I deal with stress. How I hold energy. How I view things. My ridiculously high expectations. My self loathing. My people pleasing burden.

ding. ding. ding.

What I know to be true (thx @Oprah) is that any issue I seem to have is really my issue and that I need to "hold" it differently if I want a new reflection, a healthier energy, a better interaction. I need to relearn how to: let go, love myself, set boundaries, "clean my energy". This obviously needs to be tied to a spiritual practice along with finding tangible tools to keep me in check.

Simple I know but a "ding" for me nonetheless. I'm hoping that I'll be able to hold this "shift" in the highest consciousness so that I can serve LT & myself in the best way.

And thanks LT for giving me some clues to come to this realization --- forever...Learning to Liv.

A human being fashions his consequences as surely as he fashions his goods or his dwelling. Nothing that he says, thinks, or does is without consequences.

– Norman Cousins