Monday, October 10, 2011

Talking Tape

I got a note from LT's teacher:

Dear Mommy Amy,

Liv Tunsitu was talking about her Daddy not coming back. She said he was in heaven and she would never see him again. She was telling her friends this and they were comforting her and it was very sweet.

...It went on to talk about other aspects of the day.


I asked LT if she wanted to talk about her birth Dad, who passed prior to her birth. Over the last several months, she tells me she misses him a lot and almost immediately cries. We talk about how it's ok to be sad and that while we'll never see him, he lives in our hearts and watches over us and we can always talk about him and miss him and talk to him, etc. Then tonight she asked me to write a talking tape.

The talking tape is a tool we learned from her school to acknowledge the kids emotional feelings. You write down what they say with a felt pen on some masking tape and then tape it right to her shirt. This tool has worked exceptionally well at our house (and we use it several times a week) because she can reference the talking tape and not feel like she needs to hold on to it. I can also ask her about her thoughts and she has a way to express heavy emotion.

Tonight's tape wrapped around her body. It read:

"I love and miss my Daddy in heaven. At night when I wiggle my toes in bed, I look up and say I love you. You always live in my heart. Goodbye Daddy."


Saturday, October 8, 2011

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Love Letter

My dearest LT (currently 3.5),

After a very precious 2.5 years of knowing you, I'm gaining clarity on the path I'll be joining you on. Stepping back to my "waiting period" and wondering if I was paired with your fragile self because I'd need to protect you, shelter, help you find "your space." Ummm, not so much.

The truth is that I always felt your strength but as you were packaged in a significantly underweight body with frozen eyes, it made me doubt if I was best suited to give you everything you needed. As, I prepared for the mother mindset, I surrendered to the fact that you needed an advocate. Someone who cared and fought for you and that I knew I could do. That's all I started with, that one intention.

What has unfolded over the last couple years has blown me away. You, my sweetest, are a magnificent force. You are unlimited. And that responsibility/honor in providing a framework for growth envelopes me especially as you sprint through expression. As a single working mom I hope that I will parent you in way that encourages your best self. Not lying - this feels unattainable at times. But because what I do understand is that a series of choices guided by energy & intent can manifest into more than I can imagine.

So here I start...with a full heart and the goal of bringing shape to a large mission.

Acceptance & love will pour through your pores
The small things and honest moments will fill you with happiness
Hope & faith will be on autopilot
You will live balancing peace with drive
You will trust - 1) the "master plan" 2) your gut 3) me
That I will live my life as a trusted compass that serves you as a healthy reference point

You will feel the world hear your words
You will challenge, try, create, confuse all because of your strong vision
You will impact people through your passion, pain, storytelling & experiences
Searching will serve a large role in your life
You will demand respect
You will lead
A linear path won't be interesting enough for you
Many people will truly love you