Monday, October 10, 2011

Talking Tape

I got a note from LT's teacher:

Dear Mommy Amy,

Liv Tunsitu was talking about her Daddy not coming back. She said he was in heaven and she would never see him again. She was telling her friends this and they were comforting her and it was very sweet.

...It went on to talk about other aspects of the day.

*************

I asked LT if she wanted to talk about her birth Dad, who passed prior to her birth. Over the last several months, she tells me she misses him a lot and almost immediately cries. We talk about how it's ok to be sad and that while we'll never see him, he lives in our hearts and watches over us and we can always talk about him and miss him and talk to him, etc. Then tonight she asked me to write a talking tape.

The talking tape is a tool we learned from her school to acknowledge the kids emotional feelings. You write down what they say with a felt pen on some masking tape and then tape it right to her shirt. This tool has worked exceptionally well at our house (and we use it several times a week) because she can reference the talking tape and not feel like she needs to hold on to it. I can also ask her about her thoughts and she has a way to express heavy emotion.

Tonight's tape wrapped around her body. It read:

"I love and miss my Daddy in heaven. At night when I wiggle my toes in bed, I look up and say I love you. You always live in my heart. Goodbye Daddy."

tears.

7 comments:

Shannon- said...

hug. tears

Julie said...

Heartbreaking Amy.

Jess said...

You are such an amazing mom Amy...can I call you for advice?

Ladybugs appear said...

Thanks ladies for your support and Jess, I hugely appreciate your note. I'm lucky that my preschool is AMAZING and she works very closely with me to develop tools for LT. Call me anytime though ;)

msl said...

Oh Amy that's a hard one.

Me. Us. She. said...

Oh lord, this really got me tonight. Ariam loves her (American) Daddy so very very much. I imagine she'd feel his loss even without knowing him in person even.

Danni and Tommy said...

love you both. big squeezes.