Tuesday, July 20, 2010


The one bit of excellent advice my social worker gave me on my first home study visit was to find my tribe. She said not just other moms or adoptive moms but single adoptive moms. They are your tribe and they will be the main ones to get you. She was right. This is not to say I don't have other truly amazing friends but there are nuances that play into finding your tribe which is essential for every parent.

Just finished a quick review of fellow single moms Liz & Shannon's blogs and I feel so inspired that these women are brave enough to share right where they are. The fact that they even share their insecurities shows me that they are aware, reflective, adjusted, motivated mothers. Liz with a more academic approach and Shannon will visceral reactions (confessional Fridays) both really connect with my spectrum of mommy mindfulness/madness. I started this blog to share & scrapbook and it's morphed into that an more - the ultimate support group.

Really "single momminess" needs to have it's own wiki page full of all the things that are inferred but not spoken:

- find your tribe - other single adoptive moms

- Be aware - it's not depression it's just called "zoning out" and is just an essential reaction that has to creep in due to massive hyper - productivity

- RESPONSIBILITY. nuff said.

- you will feel like you're not enough 95% of the time

- No complaining allowed - you chose this!

- The truth is every single adoptive mom I've come across is EXTRAORDINARY, INSPIRED, MULTI -FACETED, DETERMINED & LOVING MOMS who seem to be VERY humble about their capabilities.

Shout outs to my tribe & thank you for your constant inspiration. And feel free to add to the wiki page... ;D


Shannon- said...

You Rock! And the Single-ness of it all is an entire facet that is difficult to prepare for as I didn't find it covered in any of my 'pre' materials. Prehaps it is one of those things that must be experienced to understand... but to be honest.. I still don't understand it most days! It's a feeling of "What the heck am I doing" and keeping fingers crossed that it isn't horrible. (like cool pops at 8:30 in the morning)

Liz said...

Oh, I am so honored to be a part of your tribe! Now I just wish we could all be together in one place every so often!

I think instead of "no complaining" I would say "no resisting." Elfe and I have been having some sleep struggles lately, and last night I realized that the problem was me...I KNOW she needs me to stay with her to fall asleep, but some nights I just DON'T WANNA. I want to go do other things. But what else could I possibly be doing that would be more important than helping my daughter get a good night's sleep so she can have a productive day of learning and growing the next day? When I just stop resisting what I know I need to do, things go so much more smoothly.

Anonymous said...

Without a doubt being a single mom by choice is in a class all of it self. Coming up on four years and it is still a roller coaster ride.

Rebecca said...

Just wanted to tell you that I think you are truly amazing. Honestly, I don't know how single mom's do it - and you are doing it with amazing grace! You are doing such a great job with Liv and will be equally amazing with your next kiddo. Single mom's deserve a special place in this world.

Jennifer said...

Awww I wish so bad you lived on this coast. There is nobody way down here South of the Mason Dixie Line....sigh..................