Sunday, December 14, 2008

Know Love

What's interesting about the waiting is that the longer I wait the more at peace I am. I wonder how I'll feel once I am matched, but for now I wait with a knowingness that she's right around the corner. I no longer question my capabilities or obsess over the timing of her arrival or our connection.  I know.

This feeling was further confirmed when I met a stranger today in the most charming and unique coffee shop. I told her about my adoption. She told me that she felt my father around me and that he is kind and is with me and orchestrating Liv's arrival and while there will be a delay, it's not a bad thing. She said when you get her it's like you're gonna breathe easier and she's going to have great cheeks and will challenge you in a good way and your life will flourish. I looked at her and I said with a pleased "I know". I felt proud to be touched by her insight and thanked my Poppy for speaking through her.

As I sit here tonight and hear the rain coming down I think about the goodness all around us and the connection we all have with one another and I think about the concept of One Love and decide I should write in my blog. One love refers to the universal love and respect expressed by all people for all people, regardless of race, creed, or color. To me, it means we are more alike that we realize and that our stories are all of our stories.

The last two years has brought me a tornado of feelings and all that comes with divorce and losing a parent and deciding to adopt as a single mom to a child of Ethiopia.  I'm proud to say that I've done my best to feel it through and honor my instincts and let go. And I thank Vivian Stringer the head coach of Rutgers Women's Basketball for her reminder that "we cannot always control the circumstances we're met with, but we can control how we react." Like Coach Stringer and my father, I stand tall and know that my baby is right around the corner.

5 comments:

Julie said...

So lovely.

Heather said...

Beautiful post Amy! I do believe that your father's is around you always! As my father is with me always. I believe my dad hand picked Mimi and I know your dad is doing the same. What joy we have coming our way... Baby Liv!!

Julie said...

Nice post, Amy! I can totally relate to your feelings of peacefulness and belief in how this is all playing out, especially the closer you get to referral time. I still feel it.
Hey, maybe our dads are hanging out together now too! I like that idea! - Julie O.

los cazadores said...

Those words were just beautiful.

Cindy

sparkz said...

Thats how I felt the day before we received our referral!!! I hope its soon!!!