Here's What 4 looks like!

AQUARIUM, MOHAWK, DRUMS, SCOOTER, TOUCHING SHARKS, DANCING LETTER BDAY CROWN AT SCHOOL

We had a fun time at the Long Beach Aquarium with Sentayehu, Julie, Terry & Kris. My pisces loves jellyfish, sea otters, the sting rays. LOVES THEM. She also had grown up and has informed me that there are many things she'll be doing as a 4 year old rather than a 3 year old. This girl is pure magic. Here's a wonderful year 4.

Melkam Gena 2011

The last two days we've been celebrating the Ethiopian Christmas. At LT's school they celebrated her culture through dance, art, food, story & dress. Today we met friends for a wonderful lunch at Messob in Little Ethiopia. Feeling very blessed & sending love & blessings to our friends and family in Ethiopia.

'Tis the Season

Glory

Family

Talking Tape

I got a note from LT's teacher:

Dear Mommy Amy,

Liv Tunsitu was talking about her Daddy not coming back. She said he was in heaven and she would never see him again. She was telling her friends this and they were comforting her and it was very sweet.

...It went on to talk about other aspects of the day.

*************

I asked LT if she wanted to talk about her birth Dad, who passed prior to her birth. Over the last several months, she tells me she misses him a lot and almost immediately cries. We talk about how it's ok to be sad and that while we'll never see him, he lives in our hearts and watches over us and we can always talk about him and miss him and talk to him, etc. Then tonight she asked me to write a talking tape.

The talking tape is a tool we learned from her school to acknowledge the kids emotional feelings. You write down what they say with a felt pen on some masking tape and then tape it right to her shirt. This tool has worked exceptionally well at our house (and we use it several times a week) because she can reference the talking tape and not feel like she needs to hold on to it. I can also ask her about her thoughts and she has a way to express heavy emotion.

Tonight's tape wrapped around her body. It read:

"I love and miss my Daddy in heaven. At night when I wiggle my toes in bed, I look up and say I love you. You always live in my heart. Goodbye Daddy."

tears.

Hot October Day at Underwood Farms

Amharic Class

Love Letter

My dearest LT (currently 3.5),

After a very precious 2.5 years of knowing you, I'm gaining clarity on the path I'll be joining you on. Stepping back to my "waiting period" and wondering if I was paired with your fragile self because I'd need to protect you, shelter, help you find "your space." Ummm, not so much.

The truth is that I always felt your strength but as you were packaged in a significantly underweight body with frozen eyes, it made me doubt if I was best suited to give you everything you needed. As, I prepared for the mother mindset, I surrendered to the fact that you needed an advocate. Someone who cared and fought for you and that I knew I could do. That's all I started with, that one intention.

What has unfolded over the last couple years has blown me away. You, my sweetest, are a magnificent force. You are unlimited. And that responsibility/honor in providing a framework for growth envelopes me especially as you sprint through expression. As a single working mom I hope that I will parent you in way that encourages your best self. Not lying - this feels unattainable at times. But because what I do understand is that a series of choices guided by energy & intent can manifest into more than I can imagine.

So here I start...with a full heart and the goal of bringing shape to a large mission.


WHAT I WISH FOR YOU:
Acceptance & love will pour through your pores
The small things and honest moments will fill you with happiness
Hope & faith will be on autopilot
You will live balancing peace with drive

You will trust - 1) the "master plan" 2) your gut 3) me

That I will live my life as a trusted compass that serves you as a healthy reference point


WHAT I KNOW FOR YOU:
You will feel the world hear your words
You will challenge, try, create, confuse all because of your strong vision
You will impact people through your passion, pain, storytelling & experiences
Searching will serve a large role in your life

You will demand respect

You will lead

A linear path won't be interesting enough for you

Many people will truly love you

Love,

Mommy

What 3 1/2 is looking like

Isn't she beautiful? Both LT and Grandma!!!

Hometown Connection

Cousin Love

Easter

This Easter was so special because we were with tons of people we love and LT fully enjoyed all the Easter bunny excitement. I will always remember this Easter (when she is 3) because she told me my first knock knock joke and also how I "frustrated her". So much to look forward to... ;) I also spent this Easter living in all our blessings and love. Life moves by fast and is often times very hard but there is so so much to be thankful for and this spring time celebration reminds me of how we all need one another and love.

this little light of mine

So a bit blown away today as I was walking in to school today one of LT's classmates had drawn a ladybug. I smiled and told the teacher (best teacher in the world) ladybugs are very important to us. She said, "oh me too, I have one tattoo on my back, it made me feel better during my cancer treatment." What's interesting, is that's when they starting appearing in major ways in my life - when my father was going through cancer treatment. I would have never guessed she would have one but if was soooo good to hear and once again "ladybugs appear" in significant ways.

Family - 2 Year Anniversary

This week marks 2 years since the Ethiopian courts made us each others. When I think about all the factors that go into our union, I shed a tear because I realize that none of it was chance and all of it is a beautiful orchestration of a divine power. She is extraordinary & every ounce of me feels humbled by the grandness in the universe's scheme. This week, I honor the whispers in my soul that told me this was meant for me when it seemed strange to most. I honor our Ethiopian family. I celebrate family this week, in every fashion, construct & appearance. LT is my heart and I'm happy to navigate life with the motherly feelings that inform my priorities. Happy Family Anniversary to us and to the best birthday present ever - my girl.