Learning to Liv...

Melkam Gena 2011

2012-01-07T22:45:00.000-08:00

The last two days we've been celebrating the Ethiopian Christmas. At LT's school they celebrated her culture through dance, art, food, story & dress. Today we met friends for a wonderful lunch at Messob in Little Ethiopia. Feeling very blessed & sending love & blessings to our friends and family in Ethiopia.

'Tis the Season

2011-12-04T20:09:00.000-08:00

Glory

2011-12-04T19:55:00.000-08:00

Family

2011-11-21T21:36:00.000-08:00

Talking Tape

2011-10-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

I got a note from LT's teacher:

Dear Mommy Amy,

Liv Tunsitu was talking about her Daddy not coming back. She said he was in heaven and she would never see him again. She was telling her friends this and they were comforting her and it was very sweet.

...It went on to talk about other aspects of the day.

*************

I asked LT if she wanted to talk about her birth Dad, who passed prior to her birth. Over the last several months, she tells me she misses him a lot and almost immediately cries. We talk about how it's ok to be sad and that while we'll never see him, he lives in our hearts and watches over us and we can always talk about him and miss him and talk to him, etc. Then tonight she asked me to write a talking tape.

The talking tape is a tool we learned from her school to acknowledge the kids emotional feelings. You write down what they say with a felt pen on some masking tape and then tape it right to her shirt. This tool has worked exceptionally well at our house (and we use it several times a week) because she can reference the talking tape and not feel like she needs to hold on to it. I can also ask her about her thoughts and she has a way to express heavy emotion.

Tonight's tape wrapped around her body. It read:

"I love and miss my Daddy in heaven. At night when I wiggle my toes in bed, I look up and say I love you. You always live in my heart. Goodbye Daddy."

tears.

Hot October Day at Underwood Farms

2011-10-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

Amharic Class

2011-10-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

Love Letter

2011-10-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

My dearest LT (currently 3.5),

After a very precious 2.5 years of knowing you, I'm gaining clarity on the path I'll be joining you on. Stepping back to my "waiting period" and wondering if I was paired with your fragile self because I'd need to protect you, shelter, help you find "your space." Ummm, not so much.

The truth is that I always felt your strength but as you were packaged in a significantly underweight body with frozen eyes, it made me doubt if I was best suited to give you everything you needed. As, I prepared for the mother mindset, I surrendered to the fact that you needed an advocate. Someone who cared and fought for you and that I knew I could do. That's all I started with, that one intention.

What has unfolded over the last couple years has blown me away. You, my sweetest, are a magnificent force. You are unlimited. And that responsibility/honor in providing a framework for growth envelopes me especially as you sprint through expression. As a single working mom I hope that I will parent you in way that encourages your best self. Not lying - this feels unattainable at times. But because what I do understand is that a series of choices guided by energy & intent can manifest into more than I can imagine.

So here I start...with a full heart and the goal of bringing shape to a large mission.

WHAT I WISH FOR YOU:
Acceptance & love will pour through your pores
The small things and honest moments will fill you with happiness
Hope & faith will be on autopilot
You will live balancing peace with drive

You will trust - 1) the "master plan" 2) your gut 3) me

That I will live my life as a trusted compass that serves you as a healthy reference point

WHAT I KNOW FOR YOU:
You will feel the world hear your words
You will challenge, try, create, confuse all because of your strong vision
You will impact people through your passion, pain, storytelling & experiences
Searching will serve a large role in your life

You will demand respect

You will lead

A linear path won't be interesting enough for you

Many people will truly love you

Love,

Mommy

What 3 1/2 is looking like

2011-08-19T21:45:00.001-07:00

Isn't she beautiful? Both LT and Grandma!!!

Hometown Connection

2011-05-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Cousin Love

2011-05-22T20:36:00.001-07:00

Easter

2011-04-25T18:11:00.001-07:00

This Easter was so special because we were with tons of people we love and LT fully enjoyed all the Easter bunny excitement. I will always remember this Easter (when she is 3) because she told me my first knock knock joke and also how I "frustrated her". So much to look forward to... ;) I also spent this Easter living in all our blessings and love. Life moves by fast and is often times very hard but there is so so much to be thankful for and this spring time celebration reminds me of how we all need one another and love.

this little light of mine

2011-03-31T19:16:00.001-07:00

So a bit blown away today as I was walking in to school today one of LT's classmates had drawn a ladybug. I smiled and told the teacher (best teacher in the world) ladybugs are very important to us. She said, "oh me too, I have one tattoo on my back, it made me feel better during my cancer treatment." What's interesting, is that's when they starting appearing in major ways in my life - when my father was going through cancer treatment. I would have never guessed she would have one but if was soooo good to hear and once again "ladybugs appear" in significant ways.

Family - 2 Year Anniversary

2011-03-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

This week marks 2 years since the Ethiopian courts made us each others. When I think about all the factors that go into our union, I shed a tear because I realize that none of it was chance and all of it is a beautiful orchestration of a divine power. She is extraordinary & every ounce of me feels humbled by the grandness in the universe's scheme. This week, I honor the whispers in my soul that told me this was meant for me when it seemed strange to most. I honor our Ethiopian family. I celebrate family this week, in every fashion, construct & appearance. LT is my heart and I'm happy to navigate life with the motherly feelings that inform my priorities. Happy Family Anniversary to us and to the best birthday present ever - my girl.

Jotrailer Clothes & Let's Build a School!

2011-03-11T10:40:00.001-08:00

So my friend Jodi and I were having lunch talking about the cute Africa inspired clothes we could make and low and behold, Jodi actually made them. See post and please let us know what you think!

Clothing line: Jotrailer

Also if you don't know yet about "A Book in Their Hands" Fundraising Effort.

Please visit Ethiopia Reads

you can purchase tickets or please consider a donation if you can't make the event.

We have collected around 50 original pieces of artwork from noteable African artists:

Renowned African Artists Featured in Venice Art Show Benefiting Ethiopian Reads & The Tesfa Foundation

Venice, CA – Local family spear heads fundraising effort - A Book in Their Hands - to build a library and school in their their children's birth place in Ethiopia and has brought together an amazing evening of art, live performances, silent auction,food & drink on Sunday, April 17 at the Electric Lodge in Venice, CA. The benefit will feature over 40 pieces of original art work and photography with pieces from renown African artists Yadesa Bojia, Fortune Sitole, Paul Nzalamba. Event will also include a performance from, Ana Egge and Aldous Collins. Additionally, award-winning writer Jane Kurtz will be speaking and signing books. Tickets are limited and $50/person and are available online at www.ethiopiareads.org

Join us on April 17th for a powerful evening of global giving as we come together to make sure books and education are a reality for one community in the Kambata Tembaro region of Ethiopia.

WHEN: April 17^th, 2011, 6:30 pm

WHERE: The Electric Lodge

1416 Electric Ave, Venice, Ca. 90291

PH: 310-306-1854

Tickets: $50 (adults only) via www.ethiopiareads.org

More Info: Contact Julie at eyesofmyeyes@yahoo.com

Event Updates: Facebook Page - “A Book in Their Hands”

Girl Time

2011-02-20T19:43:00.000-08:00

WHO WANTS TO PAINT?

WE DO?

The Holiday Season

2010-12-06T17:42:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Growing Family

2010-11-15T22:30:00.000-08:00

My brother & beautiful Seble had and new baby girl, Emma Rebaka We got the pleasure of spending time with them and loving every minute of our new growing family!

Halloween 2010

2010-11-01T15:09:00.001-07:00

In all her glory

2010-10-27T17:38:00.001-07:00

PHOTO CREDIT: The Best

Full of Possibility

2010-10-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

I want to spotlight two posts that are a must read and deserve much attention.

1. Adopted is not an adjective

2. Infant Adoption & Loss

Both of these posts speak to an issue that is close to my heart - respecting all that your child is and all they can become by embracing and not labeling or defining them in a way that limits the totality of their potential. Their experiences are a respectful part of them but are not them.

Joy, wonder, independence is what she is right now. LT's two & a half and 2 months into school and my girl is thriving. Kind, Funny, Sweet, Smart, Confidant & Determined. Preschool has really opened up her world and the developmental progress in 2 months has been awesome. Keeping one step ahead or rather just up with her is the goal. super lucky me.

I love my Hair

2010-10-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks Suzanne for finding this! ;)

bigger

2010-10-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

They are appearing

2010-09-28T23:20:00.000-07:00

and that's a great thing.

Ding.

2010-09-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Motherhood is the most humbling human experiment. Here's what I recognize over and over again. I need to continue to shift my paradigm, & my energy. I have moved through most of my life under major stress and pressures--playing the role of the "over-achiever". My career was ultra demanding and often included unhealthy environments. Like most people, I found a way to move through life greatly over-extended (on all fronts). I would compartmentalize the bad parts and pretend like it was all great.

I realized this wasn't enough for my daughter. As a single working mom, my time is very essential and I committed myself to aligning my time to work that I believed in. I did that and made a major career move thinking I was serving myself and my daughter by spending my time away from her in a way that I could be proud. Sure, it comes with less security and much more risk but it's something that I truly believe in and I'm determined to make the new path work.

What I realized tonight, is that I may have changed professions & priorities for the better but I didn't necessarily change how I moved through life. How I deal with stress. How I hold energy. How I view things. My ridiculously high expectations. My self loathing. My people pleasing burden.

ding. ding. ding.

What I know to be true (thx @Oprah) is that any issue I seem to have is really my issue and that I need to "hold" it differently if I want a new reflection, a healthier energy, a better interaction. I need to relearn how to: let go, love myself, set boundaries, "clean my energy". This obviously needs to be tied to a spiritual practice along with finding tangible tools to keep me in check.

Simple I know but a "ding" for me nonetheless. I'm hoping that I'll be able to hold this "shift" in the highest consciousness so that I can serve LT & myself in the best way.

And thanks LT for giving me some clues to come to this realization --- forever...Learning to Liv.

A human being fashions his consequences as surely as he fashions his goods or his dwelling. Nothing that he says, thinks, or does is without consequences.

– Norman Cousins

Peace + High Five

2010-09-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

= 7

Let's see...these seven months on the wait list have flown by. The wait is SO different the second time around for me. Like the last time, I'm very at peace with the wait process. Time has been good to us and I know it will continue that way. I had a meeting with my social worker yesterday and we're probably looking at waiting another 14 months (WHFC) for referral. That feels like it will be right for my family. LT will be approaching 4 and I'm sure primed to have a younger brother. I celebrate lucky number 7 and know that we're where we should be in this journey.

BIG Week

2010-09-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

where to start...

This week we said goodbye to our nanny Tomoko. She has been with us a year. My life line. Tunsitu's caretaker, muse, friend & playmate. Being a new single mother, with a major career change, and no family nearby - Tomoko has meant everything to us. I can't say enough about her contribution in our lives & LT would not be the girl she is without Tomoko's gentle guiding love & amazing Japanese cooking. She gave Tunsitu everything she had and I am forever grateful.

(pic snapped their first week together from inside my house looking out window to the backyard)

Next my brother & Seble are new parents & had their baby girl Emma Rebaka (9/29). I feel so happy for them and can't wait to visit (too bad they are 5hrs away by plane). LT has a beautiful (half Ethiopian ;) cousin. Super duper cool.

Then we had BEADS. Granted I already posted about it but I do consider LT's first hair beads a big deal (giggle)

I wanted to try a special hairdo because we had a goodbye lunch party at the park for Tomoko & LT's 2 best park buddies who's she's played with every week for the last year. We love Gen & Mei & LT will miss the daily sand time at the park very much.

And then today we went to LT's first day of pre-school and it went fabulous. The teacher had us come today for a "goodbye/welcome" ceremony to introduce us to the class & say goodbye to other kids & LT loved it. We walked up to a huge welcome sign with our names on it and all the kids (10) & several parents greeted us. My mom & I observed from the side lines as she participated & made new friends. It was so awesome to see. It is hard to see Tomoko go but it made me giddy to see how much she liked being at school. I am mindful of transitional issues but we had a great first experience. When we left they sang her a song & hugged her goodbye. I'm sure this is standard but it was such a sweet moment. And yes I saved her first school project to frame.

This just about made my heart melt. This is the right place for her.

One of the coolest things was that Grandma (who's out of the country half the year) got to experience it with us & has given both of us some great support during this big transition time. Thank you Grandma!!!

Here's to all the people that help us in our life, milestones & growing our family. This year has been action packed. I can't even imagine what the next year will bring...

Do you SocialVest?

2010-09-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

Here's why you should!

If you don't believe me, ask her ;D

and...

if you still need more convincing ask her (!)

But if all this is not enough...read this!

and then form your own opinion at:

http://www.socialvest.us/

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

Hair Movement

2010-08-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today I added beads to LT's twists. I didn't have the beading tool so it took a little longer than it should but I'm just gonna go ahead and say it...

I feel very accomplished.

Watching LT look in the mirror and say "wow" and run around the house shaking her head just made me feel so good. Small milestones that bond us closer.

Friday night Fun

2010-08-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

2010 Little Ethiopian Festival

2010-08-27T15:28:00.001-07:00

TGIF

2010-08-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

My beautiful Flower Girl

2010-08-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

Mike & Steph our very special friends got married tonight and LT was so lucky to be a flower girl. Needless to say, she didn't make it down the aisle but she was a show stopper on the dance floor ;)

We are very very blessed with amazing friends in our life. A major THANKS for all the support we get. Love is in the air.

Working it Through

2010-08-19T02:40:00.001-07:00

In case you're wondering.

Attaching is still a big focus specifically LT attaching to me. Never ever underestimate the awareness & commitment this ongoing process takes. I would not trade it for the world but it's hard & exhausting & emotional. Those of you who know...know. Those of you who are waiting, learn about it.

Walking on Sunshine

2010-08-15T20:42:00.001-07:00

Simone, Mimi & Liv Tunsitu having fun in the backyard this morning. Love these girls.

Secret Midnight Cuddle

2010-08-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

LT is an amazing sleeper and really likes her room. Last night around midnight I started to miss her so much I went her her room and brought her into my bed for cuddle sleep. It was heaven. I probably just laid there for several hours holding her. Then I decided she should go back to her bed as I don't want to interfere with her sleep routine. She didn't wake up. Since it worked so well, I may be doing that more often. It will be my little secret ;)

Older children adoptions

2010-07-30T00:50:00.000-07:00

The idea of first and foremost filling the job as a parent. Just a parent. The other stuff (love, bonding, like) may not come for a very long time.

Really important post that needs more attention. Thanks Coffeemom.

The Foot Stomp

2010-07-26T00:09:00.001-07:00

Where did this come from? It rolled in like a storm. A week full of foot stomps.

It's always the right. It usually comes with a strong "Stop It" or "Don't Open" or "Don't Close" or "Mine" or "I don't Go"

Anyone else?

I saw this quote and it made me think that maybe this is what the foot stomps are about for her...

"A person's a person no matter how small." - Dr. Seuss

Tribe

2010-07-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

The one bit of excellent advice my social worker gave me on my first home study visit was to find my tribe. She said not just other moms or adoptive moms but single adoptive moms. They are your tribe and they will be the main ones to get you. She was right. This is not to say I don't have other truly amazing friends but there are nuances that play into finding your tribe which is essential for every parent.

Just finished a quick review of fellow single moms Liz & Shannon's blogs and I feel so inspired that these women are brave enough to share right where they are. The fact that they even share their insecurities shows me that they are aware, reflective, adjusted, motivated mothers. Liz with a more academic approach and Shannon will visceral reactions (confessional Fridays) both really connect with my spectrum of mommy mindfulness/madness. I started this blog to share & scrapbook and it's morphed into that an more - the ultimate support group.

Really "single momminess" needs to have it's own wiki page full of all the things that are inferred but not spoken:

- find your tribe - other single adoptive moms

- Be aware - it's not depression it's just called "zoning out" and is just an essential reaction that has to creep in due to massive hyper - productivity

- RESPONSIBILITY. nuff said.

- you will feel like you're not enough 95% of the time

- No complaining allowed - you chose this!

- The truth is every single adoptive mom I've come across is EXTRAORDINARY, INSPIRED, MULTI -FACETED, DETERMINED & LOVING MOMS who seem to be VERY humble about their capabilities.

Shout outs to my tribe & thank you for your constant inspiration. And feel free to add to the wiki page... ;D

Ethiopia - The Whole Experience

2010-07-19T13:47:00.001-07:00

Ethiopia: The Whole Picture from Paul Hassell on Vimeo.

Hula

2010-07-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

Grandma's present - Hula girl outfit and bubbles. Yeay!!!

Jazz Night with Grandma

2010-07-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T23:54:00.001-07:00

Cultural Lessons

2010-07-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

We are lucky enough to have an Ethiopian Cultural School that just started near us. This weekend was a first class. I expect amazing things to flourish by virtue of this community.

Happy Days

2010-07-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

Another Great Time with Friends. Friday night Jazz on the Grass

Then Ethiopian Cultural School (so much fun)

Then Date Night with handsome Noah

Doesn't get much better than this!

T-Shirts...can say a lot!

2010-07-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across 3 T-Shirt companies that I love and want to promote:

Little Gurus - Awesome sayings of empowerment

Bernos - African/Ethiopian pride

Common Threadz - NonProfit where orphans design t-shirts to help orphans

4th of July Weekend!

2010-07-05T13:48:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T18:59:00.000-07:00

What if...?

2010-06-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

Taking Ideas...who's in?

All ideas.

Things that keep my up at night ;)

We should dream right?

“Make no small plans. They have no magic to stir men’s blood.” Burnham

Faces

2010-06-28T00:05:00.001-07:00

Heidi took the most amazing pictures of her trip to Southern Ethiopia near Awassa lake, where her boys are from. LT is from this same area. She describes driving up to the local police station and being greeted by these interested faces. I love all her pictures but this one I found particularly special... maybe because the girl on the left with the braids really reminds me of LT. Thanks Heidi for a great post.

My Heart

2010-06-27T02:19:00.000-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

the 411 on LT

2010-06-24T00:15:00.000-07:00

LT & stuff about her that I don't want to forget...

Favorite Books - Where the Wild Things Are & Please Puppy Please (Both are instances of children trying to control circumstances ;) She has WTWTA memorized and says it all with me and asks me to read it 15 times a day. Also loves Hairy MacLary from Donaldson's Dairy & Frida (Kahlo's story in a children's book)

Loves Peaches - "Mommy, I love peaches more than Pizza." now that says something

Hates her hair being done but likes when it's complimented and repeats comments at home

Eats meat more than anyone I know. Chicken, Salmon, Sausage, Beef = all the time and a lot!

She recently seems more interested in pleasing me with "ok mommy and good idea mommy & high fives". This is great news because I could never seem to motivate her by getting her to please me before. Hope this takes...

Night time regular prayer - She keeps adding her skateboard friends to the people who love her. Which makes me happy & surprised each night she adds "skateboarders". There's been other's added along the way by her too which makes me realize the impact people have on her.

She imitates my pet names for her, like when I open the car door to get her out she says, "hi honey" which always cracks me up

Loves to sleep - For about a year now sleeping 12-13 hrs/night with 2-3 hr nap - very consistent (I know I'm so lucky) with no fussing. Lucky lucky lucky me.

Molluscum: Oh how I never imagined you'd be a fixture in my life. We're reaching the end of the road and boy am I super thrilled.

Is an animal lover and asks me to go outside with her to look for snails. She doesn't touch them but talks baby talk to them - so cute. We have a Petco close so walking there to see the hamsters, fish and turtles are a regular activity.

She's starting to scream with excitement for little or no reason. I feel like I'm at a Justin Beiber concert.

Very strong willed, spirited, determined. very.

Love to make herself dizzy.

Time Outs are still working.

She likes: cuddle time, TV time, asking me to lay down go to sleep and says "sweet dreams", anything plastic (she has to hold), spilling drinks, singing & dancing, rapping the ABCs, screaming to 20, bubbles, swings, slides & sand, & process (she likes everything explained why and how), drawing & hiding.

Loves secrets

and stealing my Iphone

She's wonderful and I love seeing her personality grow.

The skateboarders:

So True...

2010-06-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

WHY HAVING A TODDLER IS
LIKE BEING AT A FRAT PARTY*

10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.

8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There's definitely going to be a fight.

3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

Found at: http://www.suburbansnapshots.com/2010/06/10-reasons-having-toddler-is-like-being.html

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have so much to say and I'm not sure where to start. Today lends itself to much reflection on fathers & single parenting.

Both of our fathers have passed (LT's & mine). Hers... before she was born. I know that he was a farmer, from the south of Ethiopia (and not that much more). I wondered about him a lot today. I wondered what he looked like and what about her is of him. I love him. I found myself missing him today. I know that sounds weird but he would be so proud of her. LT and I talked about him today. I have always explained that he lives in heart and is her guardian angel (which she doesn't understand really but gives us entry point for conversation when she's ready). I think about the juxtaposition of her life and his life. She's 27 months and doing so well. She loves to learn (numbers, ABC's, shapes, colors, process, books, feelings, expressions, etc.). It's hard to think about what her life would have been like in Ethiopia. I am glad she has two homes. Keeping her family present in our home is a goal. I want her to feel a part of them all the time.

In terms of single parenting, I feel simultaneously grateful and challenged. Challenged because of the enormity of raising a daughter. Being everything she needs while starting a business and juggling all that comes with life. And at the end of every day I ask myself what more could I do to be more present. Mindfulness (a term borrowed from Liz) seems to be more of a reflective concept rather than a active consciousness for me. Every day I work on this. I try to build in more time to explore rather than task master. To imagine rather than produce. To create happy memories. This is hard. Between work demands, exhaustion & taking care of her and the house - I struggle. It's easier on the weekends but during the work week WOW, I have a hard time. I do appreciate how partnership/marriage balances this out. I underestimated how efficient I would have to live to parent at my best being single. This encompasses both physical demands and emotional demands. Children are energetic suckers and get every ounce of "stuff" brought into their space. This was something else I underestimated and have learned the more that I am respectful of what I bring into her space, the more she's peaceful and has less needs. Ultimately, I have been forced to edit - to trim activities. To not produce like I used to in work. With that said, I'm still maxed out. A lesson I'm learning and will continue to transition into a more manageable life so that I can work in more undefined down time with LT.

"Consciousness of the divinity of children can inspire parents – and all caring adults – to lead more selfless lives." - Eknath Easwaran

On this day, I am grateful for all of LT's significant male influences - Ledamo (her father), Kris, Terry, Sandro, Brendan, Yaddi. Thank you on Father's Day.

A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child. ~Knights of Pythagoras

SocialVest

2010-06-11T10:14:00.001-07:00

SocialVest - Changing the World just got a little more fun. Cause based shopping.

Needless to say, the last year has rocked my world. Going to Ethiopia and adopting Liv Tunsitu tops my life list of most amazing experiences catapulting me into an evolution that has reprioritized how I invest my time. I worked at a major movie studio as a marketing executive for 11 years (which I generally loved) but I knew that I needed to focus on something more meaningful. Which leads me to sharing with you my newest venture – SocialVest.

So many of you have heard a bit about the cause based shopping platform that my good friend Adam Ross founded. And I’m happy to share that this week www.socialvest.us is ready for all of you to experience. SocialVest’s mission is to create extraordinary change through everyday shopping. At it’s core, SocialVest is a solution for people to make donations to charities they care about by shopping with your favorite participating retailers. You earn money that you can give to any non profit you choose at no cost or obligation to you. Cool right?!?!

Please help us make SocialVest a success. We need you to:

1) sign up your credit card and shop through the SocialVest mall

2) tell your friends and family

3) post links/info on all your social networking channels-give us all your comments/questions so that we can better our platform & communication strategy.

We fundamentally believe SocialVest can bring a social good consciousness to shopping and has the potential to evolve traditional retailer business into a model that does good by empowering customers & their drive to make change.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead.

Thanks everyone, we can not do this without you! -- Amy

http://www.socialvest.us
http://www.facebook.com/socialvest
http://www.twitter.com/socialvest
http://www.twitter.com/elkinssocvest

Things are Looking Up

2010-06-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

Since I wrote this, the sky has parted and the NO's flew away. Maybe just my reflection helped...??? or maybe it's just a break when mommy needed it the most ;) Happy regardless.

and another reason things are looking up - Mimi's a Big Sister YEAY!!!!!

NO more

2010-06-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling for the last month or so with how to deal with my babes serious commitment to the word NO. It's passionate, loud, comes with a head nod and often times scowl and starts in the morning crib until bed. I've counseled, disciplined, modeled, ignored yet she's dedicated to finding a way to use it with most all interactions. PLEASE let this be a phase (she's 27 months). As I was laying her tonight thinking about how I'd try to approach the NOs tomorrow I read this...

Sometimes you don't know whether to punish a child or hug him. If you punish him when he needed a hug, you've make a serious mistake. But if you hug him when perhaps you should have punished him, you've just brought some extra love in the world" - Tzvi Freeman, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth.

It made me remember the month of doctors and hospital and reminded myself that she could still be dealing with trying to regain control after that ordeal. I will try a more tender approach tomorrow.

p.s. I shot this pic today, she looks so grown up with a mission on her mind.

Celebrating Life

2010-06-02T15:16:00.000-07:00

Today was my best friends Alexis fathers funeral. It was a lovely service. He was wonderful to me and his family is very special and I feel honored to be in their circle. After the service we went to visit my mother's parents graves - LT's great grandparents. There were 3 dandelions in bloom right next to great grandpa's and so we made a wish. Here's to Charles - RIP.

Summer Fun

2010-05-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

Weekend Getaway

2010-05-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

After our last month, it was so nice to enjoy a wonderful weekend with our friends. LT and I really needed the outdoors, loving Uncles and a lots of play.

Honoring

2010-05-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

Today I light a candle in honor of the 4th anniversary of my pop's passing.

In honor of LT's health

In honor of my regained spirit

In honor of the tremendous amount of support I felt from friends

and because I just noticed I've been on the wait list for baby boy for 3 months already

I am so blessed with my richly textured, surprising, challenging, abundant life and I hold my father very responsible for that ;)

I need a life float

2010-05-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've come here tonight in an attempt to heal. During my hour long steaming bath, my gut said write.

I broke a bit today. I am not going to say I'm broken because that seems dramatic and absolute but I definitely reached my limit.

I would say that I have an enormous threshold for hard stuff. I sometimes think that it's maybe not healthy because feelings can trigger boundaries that can be healthy. The last two weeks though have not been about me, they've been about who I need to be so that LT can get through the stuff she needs to get through. This has included endless poking and prodding and pain and discomfort and restraint...and then triple that by intensity and no sleep x 10. And I'm not even kidding a little. It's been extremely hard.

I try to showcase my best energy. I go into an alter ego because if I actually acknowledged my babe's screams, I would crumble to the ground.

I thought we were out of the woods and then...

It started last night at the midnight med infusion. She complained of itching and I noticed bumps around the pic line. I called the 24 hour number and they told me they'd send a nurse today. I put some creme to help the itching, wrapped it in an ace bandage and then put on a long sleeve snug top on. I woke up this morning to the pic line hanging out her shirt. I called again and they said to go to the hospital.

So we arrived at the ER this morning. And since then I feel like I've lived a lifetime. It started with a man next to us passing away. His son arrived minutes after this happened. We sat for two hours watching him grieve. It was horrible. I cried most of the time too. It was just horrible. The social worker counseled him right outside of our bed. It was just so intense. Then another patient who's diarrhea made me dry heave over and over again. My sense were stunned and overloaded.

Then after waiting for three hours, we got ready for LT's pic line procedure. Pan to 6pm, four sedation shots later, another IV and nurses scratching their heads. LT would not give in. The doctors were concerned with the amount of sedation meds she had in her. She fought every step of the way and never ever ever let them near her.

The med staff said, we've never met a stronger 2 year old. She's such a fighter. She's so smart. This has been the common chant of the scrubs people. They all seem amazed OVER and OVER and OVER again.

Meanwhile, I've had to restrain my daughter too many times. I've had to keep her hungry and thirsty for too long (doctors orders). I've had to hold her for over 10 hours in my arms (multiple days). I've had to wipe her crocodile tears, control her thrashing, feel her fear, see her pain and share her exhaustion - all with a smile and assurance that it's ok. That's what 5 ER visits and 10 days in the hospital have done to us.

It's not ok. It's horrible and torture and I am hurting because the little babe has been through too much in her 2 year life. I'm hoping that this note is helping me purge some of my emotions because we have to go back tomorrow and do it all over again.

And before that I need to administer two more infusions through her foot IV. I just keep thinking...If she has the strength then I need to have twice that. Praying that I feel the strength. soon. Somehow I feel like writing this will help me heal so that I can be the best for my babe.

Rough Week Part II & Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-08T22:52:00.001-07:00

You know I thought it was all over until I woke up last Sunday. We had to go to the ER again and spent the week in the hospital because LT had a serious infection that needed to be monitored. We are home now and I'm so thankful. I had many sleepless nights on the floor of the hospital room. My mind mostly led me to how amazed I am of my daughter. How she managed to turn the doctors and nurses into a bunch of groupies and how she spent 10 days in the hospital dancing and laughing and mimicking all the conversations. Here's a pic of us doing our afternoon stroll in the wagon.

She's my inspiration and this mother's day I want to honor LT's mother and aunt and special mother (her nanny in Ethiopia pictured below) and Tomoko (our nanny). These women are a huge part of Liv Tunsitu and are the perfect recipe of influence. These women love her tremendously and it shows through the light in her eyes and strength in her spirit.

This mother's day, I feel so lucky to be a part of this little girls journey. She reminds me that life will happen but it's up to you to stay on top.

To all the beautiful women, aunties, mothers in my life. Happy Blessed Day just for YOU!

Rough Week

2010-05-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

My buttercup had a finger infection that lead to several visits to urgent care with the 3rd time leading to hospitalization of 3 nights. None of it was fun. Some of it was ugly. Most of it was exhausting. But All of it made me feel grateful. Grateful that LT is full of spunk & fight and grateful for my friends who are right beside us every step of the way. I'm glad last week is over.

Cousin Love

2010-04-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

LT was so excited to see her cousins. There's such a sweetness that the kids have together and I was amazed at how well they all loved on LT and how she instantly took to them even though she has seen them in 4 months.

The cool thing about this group is that they are all adopted and it just further gives them a common bond.

This was the highlight of the weekend. In other news, my poor babe had to go to emergency room again (twice in 1 week) due to an infection in her finger.

It was hard but I'm glad it's over (fingers crossed). LT is the strongest person I know. It's just crazy how she takes hard stuff in stride.

We heart you Ava, Stone & Landon....and Auntie Teen.

1 Year Anniversary

2010-04-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

One year ago today 4-24-09, I held my babe for the first time. This is our very first picture together ever. A year of Learning to Liv - in all the best possible ways. I share this special day with Aster & Ledamo who live in our hearts.

In this photo, she was 13 months old, 16lbs, no teeth, was not walking or crawling & was very infant like & very quiet. I am blown away when I think about she's grown in 1 year.

Now she's chatty, knows her colors, counts, sings, rebels, cuddles, considers, declares, accepts, expresses, & always continues to make me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

Love you Liv Tunsitu Aster.

Wordless Sunday

2010-04-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

We Are the Truth

2010-04-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

Our story of love through International Adoption

My daughter was sitting on my lap this morning catching her breath & crying after I had to put eye drops in her eyes and I said don't worry, "you're all better sweetie. You're eyes will feel better."

...and then she and she sits up and strokes my face and stares in my eyes and says..."Tunsi's beautiful & mommy's beautiful."

And I held back tears and said, "yes we are daughter. yes we are."

This is what it's all about...

SHARE YOUR STORY to show the world all the positive family unions through International Adoption.

Everyday

2010-04-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

Just so I never forget how beautiful the daily activities are at 25 months.

Tunsi 2

2010-04-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

Dancing & Eating - her two favorite things...

Happy Easter 2010

2010-04-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

Official Mommyhood Day!

2010-03-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

One year ago today, I passed court in Ethiopia and officially became Liv Tunsitu's Mom. The best birthday present ever. I love you beautiful daughter.

God made you so so special.

Garden - Spring 2010

2010-03-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

One of the things that makes my heart sing is that LT has men in her life who love her dearly. We were surprised today by Uncle Kris. Today's his bday and he was coming over so that we could go to an early dinner. Instead he arrived with a tub of fertilizer/dirt and told me that he and LT were going to start her first garden today. He brought over flower seedlings and I sat back and watched how they worked so well together planting them in the backyard. Bluebird was happy being a part of the activity and it was all just about the sweetest thing in the world. I can't even properly express my gratitude for moments like this. I can't wait to see if the flowers take off. It's up to me to make sure we water them every day ;) Stay tuned...

Smiley Saturday

2010-03-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

The Bojia's

2010-03-18T14:34:00.001-07:00

Spending time in Seattle with Yaddi and his beautiful family. Go to Yaddi's website for all the press on him designing the new African Union flag. Also stay tuned as I am honored to work with Yaddi on a creative project that I will be posting the details on soon. And yes, Yaddi painted the picture hanging of his beautiful wife Hewan. His art is all over the house - loved it.

tunsitu is 2

2010-03-15T22:47:00.001-07:00

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.

-- Polish Proverb

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children.

One is roots. The other is wings.

~Hodding Carter, Jr.

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children

– Elaine Heffner

God sends children to enlarge our hearts, and make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections.

- Mary Howitt

Happy Birthday

2010-03-13T21:44:00.001-08:00

...to two of the most important people in my life. My brother Andy's birthday is today and Liv Tunsitu's birthday is Tuesday. I see a lot of similarities in spirit between my bro and LT and it makes me smile as well as smirk. I have no doubt these two will be a FORCE. I wish we could spend more time with Andy (lives on opposite coast) but he is always in our heart.

This pic was taken in August...

and this pic was taken today...

This is a good representation of where she was and where she is now...

When I think about her birthday and her spirit, I'm so mindful of my role in shaping her life. I'm so mindful that I need to be an example for her. I think about the words I use and the energy I live with and the morsels of wisdom that I want to offer her. I think about her story --the beauty as well as loss. I think about her circle and how lucky we all are to have her in our life. I think about the power in her being and the grand honor it is to mother her.

I expect great things...it's part of my make-up. It's not because it's been all roses. I've had great sorrow and loss but I ALWAYS expect more than I can dream. When I think about my style and Andy and LT's spirit, this song feels right - the Amy, Andy, Liv Tunsitu Anthem -

Birthdays are about honoring where you've come from, growth, reflection and hopes for the future. Birthdays are about gratitude and alignment. I love that my two sweethearts share a birthday two days apart because these two people are my heart and soul and I'm forever grateful for them. To my two Piscean loves...THANK YOU!

Sleepless in Seattle

2010-03-09T23:53:00.001-08:00

and reflecting...

This is the first time I've had to leave LT overnight for a business trip (or any trip for that matter).

Feelings that are attached to this - fear, guilt, worry, more guilt and the fact that I will miss

so badly it aches.

But then I stop and realize that I have these amazing people in OUR life -

And they afford me the ability to go away and have total faith that LT is loved and cared for 100%.

I lay here in my hotel tonight so thankful, humbled and inspired by my "village."

So thankful in all the rewards this trip has brought me on so MANY levels.

so thankful for my business partner & friend

so thankful for the most amazing night with Yaddi, Hewan, Becca & Issiah (my Ethiopian family).

so thankful that I'll see my baby tomorrow.

This quick trip has reminded me that letting go it sometimes just as important as holding on tight. The universe supported me on this trip and I can't find the words to express my appreciation.

Mommy/work balance can be a struggle. The internal turmoil regarding not being enough in either category has metaphorically kicked me on my ass over and over again. I know that it will reappear but for now...I will live in the peace that when I asked for support - we got it. and abundantly. (a nessesary lesson for a single mom, type A, control freak ;)

Tunes EDITED with soundtrack info

2010-03-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

During my wait with LT, my friend Julie made me a "waiting" compilation CD. It was/is the best soundtrack ever and I listen to it all the time. In that spirit, for all those who have waited and ARE waiting, especially H, C & M, here's Colin Hay, "waiting for my real life to begin". xoox.

** And Julie has so generously offered up the details for her wonderful waiting soundtrack.

This Womans Work 3:40 Kate Bush The Sensual World General Alternative
Lullaby 5:54 Dixie Chicks Taking the Long Way Country
I Shall Believe 5:36 Sheryl Crow The Very Best of Sheryl Crow (Digital Version) Rock
Heavenly Day 3:47 Patty Griffin Children Running Through Rock
Shelter 4:39 Ray LaMontagne Trouble Rock
All My Days 4:57 Alexi Murdoch Time Without Consequence Alternative
Waiting on an Angel 3:55 Amos Lee
When The Stars Go Blue 3:32 Ryan Adams Gold Rock
Issa 3:10 Dobet Gnahoré Na Afriki Alternative & Punk
Today 3:27 Joshua Radin We Were Here Alternative
HOME 5:58 Bole 2 Harlem Bole 2 Harlem, Vol. 1 World
At Last 3:02 Etta James At Last! Jazz
This Woman's Work 4:28 Maxwell Maxwell MTV Unplugged (Live) Pop

Beautiful Day

2010-02-28T15:10:00.000-08:00

with Uncle Terry & Uncle Kris and LA cityscape

Attachment

2010-02-26T20:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted much about the harder issues of motherhood. Most of my more reflective posts come back to how I can, should and will do better. I think that's an automatic reflex to prompt me into cheerleader "you can do it" mode. I have friends who do it very well though. They spell it out - honest and insightful and brave. For me, the harder issues are a combo platter of the heavy issues that Liz so greatly describes, hair care (i know it sounds petty but it's been intense for us), her health (from typical bugs that kids come back with), attachment & juggling LIFE with mommyhood.

We've been home 10 months and I can honestly say that it's been the best time in my life. I think I'm pretty good at keeping it together but there have been times where I just lay in bed wondering if I really can do this or if I'm just playing a part in some big dream.

An issue, I decided to share tonight is my experience with attachment. I think it's a critical part of our story. It's a subject that in the required educational work, I skated through in an over confident way. I thought I would of course attach and I would of course do whatever/however to get my daughter to attach if she should have any issues. I underestimated all that encompasses attachment and didn't give it the pause & consideration it so greatly deserves.

With that said, I was right for half of it. I attached hard and fast. During my wait, I received various feedback that there could be significant developmental impairments to LT. I of course was scared, concerned and felt helpless. I consulted experts & tried to demand more but ultimately reached in my heart of hearts and took a leap of faith. As a single parent I questioned if I could give her what she needed but I saw no other option but to move forward. I'm a "check my gut girl" and my gut knew it would be fine. This pretty immediate response cemented my attachment to the daughter I had never met in the flesh. Her described condition I NOW believe was a type of trance - a result of never attaching based on her life experience in four very different environments in her 1st year of life under severe malnutrition and minimal to no health care. I have not shared this story with many but it was one of the hardest two weeks of my life. I can only share it now because we're on the other side.

On the day I met her, it was like silent fireworks (she was 13 months). I felt we got each other and she found safety in my arms. I felt true, mutual comfort. I was not worried at all about her health. LT was physically showing signs that she wanted me and knew me as her mommy. I think I romanticized our connection because it felt REALLY good. She was a toddler but an infant for all intensive purposes. She did not crawl or walk but had very wise, knowing eyes. I would describe her as a velcro baby for the first two months home. I did what I thought was right to make her feel strong and safe with others. I did not want her to be a victim and I wanted her true self to blossom. I left her with babysitters early. I mean I was a working single mom and knew that I needed to incorporate a "care circle" fast for both of us. I let her cry on the floor and learn how to play independent. I took her to public settings and cheered her to crawl away from me and participate. I know this is not what adoption books suggest but it felt right to me at the time. I still loved/cuddled on her but did focus on praising independence and adaptability. LT was a master student and I began proudly describing her as fearless & strong.

The other fact you should know is that I sleep trained LT. Since week 3 home, she's slept from 8-8, 95% of nights with seldom ever a whimper when going to bed. (NOTE, this is not a push for sleep training, I'm just providing the info to set the stage of our situation). The point is I thought, WOW how smooth this all is...I felt like a pro...

Then I began to notice some things over time:

she did not want me holding her
she did not want me to read the books, she wanted to alone (and she LOVED to read them just without me)
she rarely initiated touch and did not ask for me to hold her
she did not want me to hold her bottle to feed her
she was avoiding eye contact
she would detach at times and sort of get a trance, glazed look and not respond
she hit me in the face when she got angry

I wrestled with what to do. These signs didn't hit me over the head at once. They kinda sneaked up and then layered together and I really realized the issue when she was about 18/19 months. Even though these symptoms seem severe & obvious in a list, our day to day was very loving, with an easy flow. I also figured that some were age appropriate behaviors and to be expected. I guess what I'm trying to say they came out very subtle. Most onlookers (I think) thought our attachment was a great success.

I was worried. I beat myself up a lot over it (with lots of crying). I thought, Amy she's just a baby, with an unbelievable past, why did you push her? And then I realized that I didn't have all the answers and I needed to figure it out. So I reached out to friends, observed a lot, read books and took online classes through Adoption Learning Partners (which I recommend).

As a result, I aggressively implemented:

gentle touch time in front of mirror
phrases of entitlement (your my daughter, I'm your mommy)
cuddle bed time every morning when she wakes up
bathing together
more hand feeding from me to her
forced acknowledgement (won't allow her to ignore or detach - I make her engage, even if it takes up to an hour, which happened a couple times)
touch play time - wrestle, dance, tickle
face to face imitation time

Now, I know these things may seem obvious, but for me it was really powerful to sit back and remember to make time for these things daily. I have been implementing them now for several months and I've seen great strides. LT's eye contact is present with me and others. She's good at hugging and touching now. She's consistent with greetings and appropriate hugging and kissing. I am just amazed at how adaptable she's been with the therapies. I have to say that now we're back to her needing me more, wanting to be held and having more separation anxiety but I'm confidant that as I maintain a balance, so will she. Some days she'll need more and some days she won't but as my classes reminded me, attachment is an issue for life - not weeks, months or years.

I've learned to check in and take her cues because for the most part she tells me all I need to know in how best to serve her needs. I also remind myself that I don't have all the answers and the more I open up - the more reward.

I'm happy with all the progress we've both made and again very thankful to my local and blog friends for giving me much support along the way. Every combination of kid and parent are unique and figuring out that special formula for parenting has been intense, powerful, frustrating, amazing and perfect experience. As I've always said, "I'm learning to Liv."

Wait List!!!

2010-02-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

The paperwork, notary, appointments, interviews are done. Well at least for this stage ;)

I'm thrilled to announce that I just found out that Liv Tunsitu and I are on the wait list (with WHFC this time) for a younger brother, Yared, as of 2/17/10. We have a little bit of longer road ahead than with LT as wait time estimates for referral are 12-18 months and then there's several months (up to 6 months) for court date assignment and travel. I think the time will work in our favor.

Now - Put your hands up & DANCE!

Same swing

2010-02-20T21:43:00.000-08:00

only 9 months later...

Readopt Final

2010-02-19T16:02:00.000-08:00

We had a special day today because Liv Tunsitu Aster Elkins adoption is final. This means she gains her US citizenship. I was lucky enough that my good friends Kris and Terry could join us (Kris went to Ethiopia with me) as well as my nanny Tomoko. LT is very attached to this group and I'm so happy they could share this day. After the 15 min. hearing we went to a cool lunch spot downtown and got to snap a couple pics in front of the street art.

While the hearing today is really just a formality it was terrific to have a day honoring our union. What wasn't so great was as the judge was uttering the official words, LT was repeatedly smacking me in the face pretty hard. I have a no tolerate hit policy = timeout without warning but in this instance all I could do was chuckle and think...I may not have a 24 hour labor story to hold over your head but NOW I have a smack story. LOL.

Congrats to Yaddi!

2010-02-18T17:14:00.000-08:00

I know an international celebrity now ;) Yaddi and I became acquainted when I wrote him about loving his art. I decided to purchase a piece that is so dear to my heart (this one on the right) and we've been friends ever since. It is with great honor that I celebrate Yaddi and his talented artistic vision. See the breaking news story below.

It was a huge honor to have his design selected as the new flag of the African Union and to watch as the flag was presented at the recent African Union Summit, says Yadesa Bojia, a graphic designer in Housing and Food Services.
But Bojia -- whom campus friends call Yaddi -- said the true extent of the honor was made even more clear the day after the ceremony.

"I was going the next day to the African Union for a meeting and there was this marching band that played for the presidents (of the African nations), and as I was passing by they stopped what they were playing and ran over -- they all wanted to take photos with me. And their leader was right in front of them."

The band breaking ranks for his attention was only part of a whirlwind experience that included Bojia, his wife, Hewan, and young children Becca and Isaiah meeting the president of Ethiopia and his attending the African Summit. Bojia said he also stood right behind Libyan President Mouammar Kadhafi, outgoing president of the African Union, as he hoisted the new flag for the first official time.

The African Union is an intergovernmental organization created in 2002 from the former Organization of African Unity. The union comprises 53 states and is based in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Bojia said he created his design in response to a 2006 worldwide announcement that the union was seeking a new flag. In all, 116 potential flag designs were submitted and a committee overseeing creation of the new flag chose five finalists, including his design. Then his was chosen from among the finalists.

Bojia's winning flag design shows the continent of Africa silhouetted against a background of lush green, surrounded by thin shafts of light and ringed with a circle of stars. He said he wanted his design to be "forward-looking" rather than to dwell on the past. The flag, he said, is meant to symbolize "a new day for Africa" -- as well as "unity, hope and prosperity" for the African Union. He said he sketched out four or five ideas before deciding on a final design.

Bojia was born in Ethiopia and came to the United States in 1995. He earned an associate of arts degree in graphic design from Seattle Central Community College and then a bachelor's degree in visual communication from Seattle Pacific University.

In addition to his design work for Housing and Food Services, Bojia also helped design and illustrate the Pacific Science Center's 2008 Lucy's Legacy exhibit. A painting of his titled The Invisibles also was used as a poster by the Simpson Center for the Humanities, and another painting, The Messengers, hangs in the Supreme Court of Washington's Temple of Justice.

Bojia said he got interested in art as a child, and the murals in Ethiopian Orthodox churches -- filled with bold lines and vibrant colors -- captured his imagination.

He said if there's anything that took him by surprise, it was the level of feeling regarding an Ethiopian design being chosen as the flag to represent all of Africa. "I did not realize the amount of pride that it brought to Ethiopia," he said, clearly pleased.

His colleagues at Housing and Food Services are pleased for him, too -- and proud. "We couldn't be more excited and proud of Yaddi," said Pam Schreiber, HFS director. "He is such a talented designer and it is so appropriate that he received this recognition. HFS is fortunate to have him on our team!"

His website is:
http://tellabet.blogspot.com/

The New Flag:

Small steps feel good

2010-02-16T09:49:00.000-08:00

171H clearance came.

we go to court friday for readoption.

LT's gone from 0 to 25th percentile on growth charts.

Painting by Kokebie Huruma, Female, Age 10, Hope Organization School, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Valentine's Plans

2010-02-11T11:39:00.000-08:00

Each holiday presents a brainstorm of what should we do as it's our first _______holiday together.

When thinking about it I stumbled onto the PBS website.
"While many adults spend Valentine's Day expressing their affection, many children are focused on enjoying delicious confections! But candy needn't be the center of your child's day. Encourage her to do something creative: express feelings through poetry, choose a special recipe to make with you or create fun e-cards for friends and family."

Tip from PBS - for young children like LT, make a big heart and inside write words of what they LOVE. You can also use stickers to represent the Love topics.

I love the idea of focusing on expression as an important aspect in celebrating Valentines Day. Maybe, I'll come up with a song we can learn too. I'm also thinking it would be fun to find heart cookie cutters to use for pancake molds. PBS suggests poetry as well for older kids. Last year, I received multiple Valentines Cards from LT's friends which was cute considering they were all under 2. This year I already got the cutest card from the Little Ethiopian family of the twins and an amazing Yo Gabba Gabba valentines sticker book from my bestie Alexis.

For a holiday that can mean a variety of things for me as an adult. I love that Valentines is now new to me through LT's eyes. Love is definitely in the air.

Windex

2010-02-09T21:21:00.000-08:00

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite” - William Blake

The last 5 years feels like I've been living in a pin-ball machine. Little continuity with surprise after surprise around the corner. Everything I didn't expect, has been everything that's meant something great to me. And days like today, when I'm greatly mourning the passing on of my pop, I stop and count my blessings & focus on cleansing my perception. To that end:

I'm so grateful that the biggest hassle in my day today was taking out the trash bins with some light rain.

I'm so grateful that my soul feels fed by my work.

I'm so grateful that when I feel overcome by responsibility, I stop and realize I can handle it.

I'm so grateful that the people around me inspire me to be better.

I'm so grateful that the Universe is supporting me both by giving and taking away and my senses/heart are learning to take the appropriate cues.

I'm so grateful that at 36, I feel like I still see the world enchanted by all the beauty & grandness.

I'm so grateful that Ethiopia has entered my world as a focal point.

I'm so grateful that I get to mother Liv Tunsitu.

*Artwork by Ethiopian Artist Shifera Girma. I'm in love with how he captures a spirit of energy & romance in his works. Looking at this art is meditative & healing. Thank you Shifera.

Take 2 - waiting for wait list

2010-02-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

I contacted Wide Horizons (after Gladney verified they were no longer accepting single mothers) for an application in mid December and as of today I've completed everything and only waiting on immigration clearance to be put on the official wait list. The paper chase process for baby boy has been MUCH MUCH easier than for LT. A big part of that is that I've done it before and kept good files and saved extra official documents and just felt more knowledgeable. Another big part of it was that I wasn't dealing with changing my name back to my maiden name (after my divorce) like I was the first go around. Truthfully the name change was more work that the adoption paperwork if you can imagine that. And the other big part is that my homestudy was considered an update as opposed to creating a new one and that really quickened the process.

If I could give any tips to others in the paperchase (who are trying to move through it quickly)...I would say keep asking, keep verifying, use friends, yahoo forums, stalk other people's blogs, and be persistent. One example is the CIS has changed their protocol when submitting the I600A. They ask you mail everything through Texas now. All I can say is I would HIGHLY recommend going directly to your field office in person and dropping it off, ask for a fingerprint appointment on the spot and make copies and get receipts of everything you submit. There is SO MUCH that is completely out of our control when it comes to International Adoption that when I can push things through...I try.

At this point I believe my wait for a referral will be somewhere around a year, once I'm on wait list. I know that other agencies are moving much quicker than this but I'm happy with this timing as LT will be around 3 1/2 when Yared comes home and he'll be around 1-2. While we all know that anything can happen to the program (especially singles) and timing is ONLY hypothetical, I am living in the space that it will manifest as it should.

All I can say is TGIF and release a big sigh of relief that I no longer will be making Kinkos & Fedex my home away from home anytime soon.

Love.

2010-01-31T22:14:00.000-08:00

Growing Up

2010-01-30T20:26:00.000-08:00

I'm now living the cliche - "what happened to the time, she's all grown up."

We've been home 9 months together and LT is 22 months. I'm not sure what happened...but it seems that all of a sudden she's growing up. Very few signs of a baby and lots of signs of a happy, fearless, funny, determined toddler. I'm not sure when all of this happened but it's here. Even though she was 13 months when we came home, due to her unfortunate series of circumstances she was more at a 6 month old level when we met. Pretty quickly, I saw great strides in her development. But in the recent month it's like she hit a big milestone and officially entered all things toddler. She's coming into her own and I'm so proud of her.

She is social and requests her own play dates.

She's independent and likes to sit in big chairs.

She's outgoing and loves a dance party.

She's nuturing and kind.

She's helpful and makes me pancakes in her kitchen.

She's sweet and laughs at my jokes.

What's amazing about all this is how resilient children are. In a matter of months children get back on track. I am witness to the power of the human spirit, not just in Liv Tunsitu but in all of the children in our adoption community. They all are coming into their own and I feel so lucky to be a part of this experience and family.

Today we had the monthly Ethiopian luncheon at Messob and it was packed with families. It's so cool to see the children have each other and treat each other with love and excitement. It's moments like today that I feel ultra ultra lucky. I just wish I could bottle all these special moments and never forget the small strides that add up to big change.

ETHIOPIA - investing in a mother's health

2010-01-29T11:05:00.000-08:00

Wonderful Video for Moms

2010-01-28T15:04:00.001-08:00

Big Day at the Park - SNOW!

2010-01-09T15:13:00.000-08:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Feel It.

2010-01-09T01:30:00.000-08:00

Melkam Gena!

2010-01-07T00:46:00.000-08:00

Our first Ganna together! Let's Celebrate!

Happy 2010!

2010-01-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

Hope in the New Year!

2009-12-30T23:13:00.000-08:00

2009 has stretched every emotional strand in my body. 2009 invigorated me in ways that only 1st year at University does. 2009 has tested my character, beliefs and faiths to limits I thought would never have been tested. 2009 has fostered amazing friendships - ones of power and conviction. 2009 has provided in a way never imagined mostly by taking away and then offering a better direction. 2009 has cemented my understanding of my role in life happening to me. 2009 has joined me with my hero of a daughter & the possibility of my son.

2009 has led me more to myself.

And because I'm continuing on this journey of authenticity, I look to commit to self improvement and therefore find this photo and this quote particularly appropriate as I step into 2010.

"Whoever had the idea to cut time into the slices we call years, was a clever person. He industrialized hope, letting hope carry us even at the limit of exhaustion. Twelve months is enough for any human being to be worn down and start to give up. But here comes the miracle of renovation when everything starts afresh, with a new number and renewed belief that from now on everything will be different." Carlos Drummond de Andrade (1902 - 1987).

LOVE, HAPPINESS, BEAUTY, CREATIVITY, CLARITY, WISDOM, HEALTH & HOPE to ALL.

We are One

Please welcome all the possibility and joy that is Yared!

2009-12-29T13:36:00.000-08:00

I've decided to grow our family by adopting a toddler boy from Ethiopia. I must start the process over so this will probably be another year and a half before we meet him but I'm thrilled and can't contain myself any longer. MUCH MORE TO COME.

One of his names will be Yared.

Yared (amharic meaning "sent from heaven" since my dad will be a main factor in this ;)

and to the right is St. Yared

Saint Yared (April 25, 505 – May 20, 571) was a semi-legendary Ethiopian musician credited with inventing the sacred music tradition of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church and Ethiopia's system of musical notation. Yared is thought to be the first to write musical notes centuries before Westerners did. His father died when he was seven, and his mother sent him to be raised by his uncle Gidewon, a priest who taught religious studies. A legend describes Yared gaining musical insight through interaction with three birds (birds are good luck - right mom ;)